Life in any city can be tough when it comes to finding love. No scratch that, life in any city can be tough when it comes to finding anything. Of course I’m not talking about hooking up with a cute guy in a nightclub. I mean finding one of those rom-com moments where two people meet in a bar or on a street and instantly click.
Being a 90s boy, like many of us out there, I base there entire romantic knowledge on the show that taught us it, Sex and the City. The show taught all of us who watched it that even though you can get dragged though a war zone of un-datable guys, horrible one night stands and countless failed relationships, we can eventually find that one Big Love.
The issue nowadays is that like everything else, the dating world has moved into the technological era.
We now live our lives on Facebook and Grindr and it can feel like no one actually goes on a date any more. It’s a sad and depressing thought, but it seems the new millennium brought about new rules and regulations when it comes to relationships.
I like to think about it like this. For the last six months I have lived in my flat, I have enjoyed that very 90s tradition of sitting at a window to enjoy a cigarette. In all that time I have never once seen anyone else in my neighborhood do the same. Instead they go for a walk or stand outside. A huge part of cigarette etiquette has literally been thrown out of the window and onto the street, where there is almost no chance at all of catching the eye of a fellow smoker for long enough to establish an attraction.
This is the same in the dating world. Because we live our lives with our eyes fixed on the screens of our phones, we are missing the multiple opportunities that are walking right past us.
That hot guy you were looking at on Grindr just walked right by you. The guy in Starbucks who you think is oh so your type, he doesn’t recognize you because you look different from your online profile. The opportunity to click with someone has literally removed itself from our daily lives. And it sucks.
I feel like we should all know better. I mean come on, it was hard enough in 2004 to muster the courage to ask a flesh and blood guy on a date, now we completely remove the chance to practice it meaning our confidence is even lower than it was back then! Its madness!
How the hell are we supposed to have those moments when we let the chances fade away? More to the point, why is no one else up in arms about this? Surely I cant be the only one?
Just as I was about to give up all hope that my dating knowledge will ever find me a nice guy, something strange happened. About one week ago I was sitting on my windowsill, enjoying a cigarette, when the unbelievable happened. One of my neighbors was doing the same.
I knew that this was a new practice for her because she had lived across the road from me for as long as I had lived in my building, and never once had I seen her do this. It seemed she had seen me and thought “why not?”
It is a long shot I know to think that it was 100% me who influenced her, but then something more amazing happened. Last night when I was sitting at my window, there he was. The cute guy who lived one block down from the girl (and had a very nice right up on Grindr) was smoking at his window and looking at me.
This was it; this was my first Moment since 2010. Could it be? Surly not?
Just as these thoughts are flying through my mind he smiles at me, looks down and giggles a little before re establishing eye contact. A classic move. I smiled back, oh god I think I’m actually blushing.
As I allow myself to get caught up in the moment, I hardly realize that my cigarette is now only a filter. So I look at him one last time and smile before going back into my room. The rush was better than I remembered. And it got even better.
I opened my Grindr a few moments later to find a message from cute smoker neighbor himself.
“Hey you, I didn’t know you were so close… next time you should let me know when your smoking and we can sit outside mine?”
We have a smokers date tomorrow. It seems 90s influence can still serve you well, as long as your prepared to show it off in real life.